new here

[Razevan]

Character and NPC Template

You need to create a profile to become active in the RPG. Official characters that do not change from their original form may go as allowed with a basic "official character" profile. Otherwise, we recommend that this template is used.

Name: Razevan

Age:632

Sex: M

Species:Carpathian (immortal vampire like creature)

Alignment: neutral / hero

Appearance: Similar to Lestat from Queen of the damned bit more stocky/muscular long black hair green brown eyes that tend to change

Personality honorable,protects his race above all. Chivalrous Care for his life mate above all
Hunts the fallen of his species (basicaly Evil vampires rotting in body and soul intelligent cunning cares nothing for life)

Family: Life mate named Ivory

Transport: An optional section. If your character has something to get them from A to B, then list it here. This can also be controlled by an NPC if you want. Just don’t go crazy. No spaceships please.

Weapons: Claymore sword

Biography: Most would agree this is a character's most important part of a profile. Tell us how your character grew up and got to where he is right now. We aren’t looking for a novel here. We appreciate that some people do not want to write that much. All we ask is for a little detail on who they are and what they do. Just a couple of things we’d like to point out. If you intend to have your character not know who they are (i.e. amnesia or something like this), then please don’t just write “unknown”. Even if they don’t know who they are, you as the creator do. At least tell us why they don’t know who they are.

What we normally say is a little bit of information on their childhood, a bit of their later years and information on any major events. This could be how they acquired a skill, weapon, or if anything happened to their family.






Moves/Combat Style:sword combat some magic
Move 1 call down lightning
this move summons a continuous lightning from the heavens fully controlled by Razevan accurate like a laser lasts up 2 posts 2 post cool down

Move 2 healing chant
Razevan chants the ancient healing songs of the Carpathians

Move 3 Guardian Blade summons a sword to aid Razevan 75% of his skill used for melee only no affect on gun attacks or magic



Skills:Does your character possess any skills? Are they good with machines or perhaps they have a knack for first aid or tactics? Feel free to list your character’s talents here. Three or four is a good number if you want that many. If you list any more, we may start asking for disadvantages to equal your skills out a little.

Strengths:Unlike skills, this section should be your character's advantages over others. This could be their speed, their ability to think things out, or maybe they are tougher than most. You can list as many as you like but we ask that for every advantage you give your character, you give them a disadvantage as well.

Weaknesses: This should counter balance your character's strengths. You can’t be as fast as Sonic and tough as Knuckles at the same time now, can you? Also, be aware that we will be on the lookout for ‘pointless’ weaknesses. For example, a fear of spiders is not a weakness.

[Nail Strafer]

Welcome to the board, man! Post another message when you've got a part of your profile (or all of it) ready to look at.

[Razevan]

updated

[Gail Strafer]

[This is Nail again with a different profile]

Are you new to roleplaying? I'm not trying to be rude, but remember that you're playing with other people and you need to make your character's powers balanced with everyone else. Now we might let you get away with things later on, but only after we know you won't abuse the privilege.

You also need to give a lot more details in some sections, so that we have a better feel of what your character can and can't do. This is how we'll know if your character is balanced or not. I know you just started on this profile, but there's a few things I feel like I should comment on right now.

Lastly, work on your grammar, please. People will like roleplaying with you more if you write correctly.

Quote:Carpathian (immortal vampire like creature)

Big, big no to being immortal. That wouldn't be any fun for the other players. Also, if you're afraid of getting killed, don't be. Around here, the rule is your character is never killed by anyone else unless you allow it.

Quote:Similar to Lestat from Queen of the damned bit more stocky/muscular long black hair green brown eyes that tend to change

I would like it if you came up with an original description instead of saying he "looks like [character/person]". We want to see your creativity.

Quote:Moves/Combat Style:sword combat some magic

Not detailed enough. What's his skill level in sword combat? What kind of moves can he do? I especially want to know what he can do with magic and what his limitations are.

Quote:Move 1 call down lightning
this move summons a continuous lightning from the heavens fully controlled by Razevan accurate like a laser lasts up 2 posts 2 post cool down

Fully controllable and accurate like a laser? As in you could tell it to instantly electrocute any player you like? If that's how it is, then no. Players need to be able to dodge it. And lightning causes a lot of damage. I'm glad you put in a cool down period but that's nowhere near long enough. Even if the lightning were weaker I think this power could easily be abused.

My recommendations:
- less accurate
- the lightning can only be summoned within a limited range around you (say 50 feet)
- increase the cool down period. If you want to give it the full strength of real lightning, then you should be able to use this move only once per battle, AND I think you should be too drained to move for a couple posts afterwards. It sounds like a kind of "super move" and I think this would be fair. Now if you want to make it weaker, I would be OK with the cool down period being short enough to be used more than once per fight.

Quote:Move 2 healing chant
Razevan chants the ancient healing songs of the Carpathians

How often can he use this? And how much of his energy does it heal?

Quote:Move 3 Guardian Blade summons a sword to aid Razevan 75% of his skill used for melee only no affect on gun attacks or magic

Summons a sword? But didn't you say he had one already? Does this one like fly around and attack enemies for him or something? Just not really sure what you're doing with this move.

[Razevan]

Character and NPC Template

You need to create a profile to become active in the RPG. Official characters that do not change from their original form may go as allowed with a basic "official character" profile. Otherwise, we recommend that this template is used.

Name: Razevan

Age:632

Sex: M

Species:Carpathian (immortal as in doesnt ever die from old age vampire like creature Can be wounded)

Alignment: neutral / hero

Appearance: 6 foot tall lean but muscular long black hair green eyes that dance from chocolate brown to a light green+

Personality Victorian, honorable,protects his race above all. Chivalrous Care for his life mate above all
Hunts the fallen of his species (basically Evil vampires rotting in body and soul intelligent cunning cares nothing for life)

Family: Life mate named Ivory

Transport: An optional section. If your character has something to get them from A to B, then list it here. This can also be controlled by an NPC if you want. Just don’t go crazy. No spaceships please.

Weapons: Claymore sword

Biography:





Moves/Combat Style:sword combat some magic magics limited to out of combat


Move 2 healing chant
Razevan chants the ancient healing songs of the Carpathians






Skills:Does your character possess any skills? Are they good with machines or perhaps they have a knack for first aid or tactics? Feel free to list your character’s talents here. Three or four is a good number if you want that many. If you list any more, we may start asking for disadvantages to equal your skills out a little.

Strengths:Unlike skills, this section should be your character's advantages over others. This could be their speed, their ability to think things out, or maybe they are tougher than most. You can list as many as you like but we ask that for every advantage you give your character, you give them a disadvantage as well.

Weaknesses: EXTERMELY vulnerable in the sun light

[Gail Strafer]

When you make changes to your profile, could you just edit your first post? It makes it easier to review your profile since we only have to look in one spot to read the whole thing.

You are getting a little bit better but it's still way off what I'd like to see.

So this character can die from getting injured but not old age? Is that what you're saying? And I think roleplaying here's really going to suck for this character if he's vulnerable in the sunlight. Most of our RPs appear to take place during the daytime. What do you mean by vulnerable in the sunlight anyway? Like he loses most of his powers? If so how strong is he in the daylight?

Me, I honestly don't like the idea of an immortal vampire (especially the immortal part), and I'd like it if you used something else. But if you can come up with a way to balance him well I may let you keep it this way. The sunlight deal is a good start, but I think it would cripple you too much depending on how weak it makes you.

And I need to know more about your magic. So you can't do it out of combat. Well, that's a start, but what magic can you do in the first place?

You just really need to give more information than you're giving now, and really think about how this character is going to work. The more information you can come up with about your character's traits, the better. That makes it easier for us to judge and accept your character. Otherwise he might be more/less powerful in the roleplay than the bio makes him look.

[Rose Fox]

Hmm, yes. I think Nail covered everything I could see. I don't think the idea of a character who couldn't age would be okay; but not a character who's completely invisible or something. Nothing be fun that way.

Something to note though, I would like to see more description than just a few words for the personality. The words given don't give me much sense of the character. I'd suggestion looking at some of the profiles around to help you with it.