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A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tails JG - 01-04-2012 12:34 AM
I finish the last of my novel, yet I don't feel proud of it. I want to feel proud of it. Its just that my mind won't let me. I allow myself to sit there with my eyes on the paper for a little bit, yet nothing happens. I don't even smile.
I put my novel into my breifcase in a slow manner. As a girl with schizophrenia, this isn't in my favor. I zip up the breifcase. I look around for a little bit and see a white vixen that takes an interest in me. I turn away from the attention and look down at the floor in an expression that neither comforts nor repels. It is just like any other face that I make. A face with a dead stare.
All that is left is to hope that the white vixen who would have an interest in someone with a lack of social ability just leaves me alone. I don't dare move and just allow myself to stare dead-faced at the floor. I hope she doesn't stop here to address me.
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tech Rathgen - 01-04-2012 01:50 AM
I watch the blue vixen for a little bit. It seems strange how she acts when she did see me. I think it crazy that she did acknowledge me before she just went back to the stare at the floor. It doesn't deter me however. I think she looks interesting and I need to get to know her. I want to be her social friend, even though it looks like she wouldn't have a thing to do with me.
I walk toward the blue vixen and sit down next to her with a smile on my face. I don't touch her or anything, yet I do want to get to know her with all my heart. I feel all sorts of good intentions in my mind and I think it will be worth it to make her my friend. At the same time, this blue vixen is very gorgeous and beautiful and I'm surprised that she isn't getting any male attention. It really puzzles me in more ways than one.
I gather up my courage and ask in a polite manner. "Hi, my name is Tech Rathgen. What's your name by the way?" I hope this all works out for the best. I think she needs a friend, she looks sad to me.
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tails JG - 01-04-2012 12:31 PM
I move my eyes toward this Tech Rathgen, yet I don't move my face toward her. I know its rude to do this, so I slowly lift my face up to Tech's level. I acknowledge her, yet I don't dare make eye contact with Tech. I don't want her to look into my eyes, so she can probe my darkest secrets or any secrets for that matter. My hazel eyes turn a light gray.
I say my name, yet I don't dare look at her eyes. The eyes of someone else scares me beyond belief. I don't know why, yet it is very difficult for me to have eye contact with someone else. I stare off at a window some place as I say my name. "My name is Joshlafina Goochenheyer. I have schizophrenia, so I hope you don't feel offended that I won't make eye contact with you. Its just that to stare at the eyes scares me. Its like someone looks into your soul and probes your subconscious. So please, can you leave now? I don't want to talk to anyone no matter who they are."
This is all the truth in fact, I have schizophrenia. Its easy for the person to control me, since my writer knows what it is like to have schizophrenia. Even though I don't want to talk to Tech Rathgen anymore or at all for that matter, I hope I didn't upset her. Why did she have to start a conversation with me? I find talking to myself to be much more intellect filled than talking to anyone else. That's what I would rather do right now than talk to someone else I want to so desperately ignore. I want this conversation to end right now!
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tech Rathgen - 01-07-2012 02:29 PM
I feel taken aback by Joshlafina's reaction to my introduction. I think I see why there aren't any men that give her any male attention. It isn't because she isn't cute, since I can appreciate her looks despite I'm not a homosexual. Its because she is schizophrenic and she seems out of place in the real world. I don't know how to talk to someone like this, yet there may be something I can learn about her and maybe I can see why she is an anti-social female.
I say the only thing that comes to mind from the reaction of Joshlafina. "I just want to make conversation. I want to get to know you. I think you might be interesting. I just want to talk is all."
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tails JG - 01-08-2012 02:04 AM
I shake my head. She just won't leave me alone, it annoys me immesnely. I don't want to show much emotion to say some thing like this, yet I need to get the message through to her that I don't want to talk to her.
I speak. "To talk is pointless. The very definition of talk is pointless. People that talk don't retain that much information of the conversations she or he had with the other person. Did you know that people only retain 15% or less of a conversation the minute its over? Its especially true with me, so I don't talk. Talking is pointless and I don't want to talk to you. You'd be surprised how pointless talking is. Talking isn't a way to generate a relationship out of thin air, it is just one of those things that people use that have zero purpose and it is just an annoyance. I don't want to say anything else, so please leave."
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tech Rathgen - 01-21-2012 02:23 PM
I nearly decide to stop the conversation and leave, yet I remember the one thing that brought me over here in the first place. Curiosity about whatever it is that Joshlafina did write in her novel. I need to know how she writes and I'm curious to get to know her a little better. If telling her that I want a conversation and she responds with talking is pointless, then I have to figure out some thing else. I need to consider some thing. She may think that talking is pointless, yet I have to ask her if she think writing is pointless as well. It couldn't hurt.
I ask. "Well, I saw your writing in your novel and I just want to ask this one thing. Do you think that words on paper is pointless? That is a form of talking, you know. If you think words on paper is pointless as well, then there isn't a reason why you should be writing either. Do you think writing is pointless?"
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tails JG - 04-07-2012 02:25 PM
Its true, I don't think writing is pointless. Still, it isn't any of her business about what I say to her. If I did know her better than this, I wouldn't have trouble to spill the beans that I'm a sucker for books and any notebooks that I can write on. Yet, since she does want to read my written words, I guess it is in my best interest to read some of my writing style to her.
I take the notebook out of my bookbag and begin.
"Loop Gloop"
'By Joshlafina Goochenheyer'
' The loop floats on the gloop of my flock of mind games on the flight of the chirps that take in my soul. It floats into the discovery of the sledgehammer and takes in the parade floats of the gloop. The loop gloop swarms the wasps on the parade float and jumbo curls float into the A.I.R. The climax of the dish of rockets that swarm the fleas of the lags of halohjs.
The Loop Gloop takes the hand of the inno-grimpo into the house of the miinie floats that climb into my feet crevice of the lunar allignment. I creep into the corner with the loop goop as it forms into a lollipop for the endearment of the creatures of the lagoon. It takes me into the era of the Floppy Discs before the need of the pirates did fly into my eyes with their boat as it floats on the liquid puss of my eye.'
I stop reading my novel and study Tech's face. She seems in utter shock. I don't know whether I should take it as a compliment or as an insult. I wait for her to speak.
RE: A talk with Tech Rathgen - Tech Rathgen - 02-02-2013 03:22 PM
I clap. "It seems like the book has a lot going for it. I will admit that the book is a little on the weird side, yet it seems to have a flavor to it that I can't describe."
I then enter a phase of shock. "I will be honest. I don't truly know what you're trying to write. Its English, that much I know. But it seems very strange. What kind of things were you trying to convey into the book? It just seems strange is all that someone would write something this strange."